Day 13: Sorry Not Sorry!

Dear Pretty Much Every Other Driver on the Road (But Mostly Drivers in Las Vegas),

I’m sorry that you received what was clearly a sub-par education in driving, since you clearly don’t understand how to use a blinker, maintain a lane while turning, or put down your stupid phone long enough to actually watch the road while you’re driving. I’m sorry that you think red or yellow lights don’t apply to you. And I’m also sorry that when I do things properly, i.e. maintain the correct lane when I’m turning, stop at an intersection when I know the light will turn red before I can get through it, come to a complete stop at stop signs, etc., it frustrates you because you have to adjust on the fly to make sure you don’t run into me with your stupid turning-into-the-wrong-lane-and-not-even-the-lane-you-wanted-to-be-in-in-the-first-place nonsense. Pay some more attention, maybe attend another driver education course, and try to do better, for crying out loud. Because really, you’re just obnoxious…and you’re annoying me, which in my opinion, is the bigger crime.

Love,
The World’s Most Perfect Driver

Dear Victoria’s Secret Fitting Room Attendant from Town Square,

You probably don’t remember me…I was the girl in the store on Black Friday, trying on yoga pants. You asked me if there was anything I needed, and I very politely asked if you could grab me a larger size of the pants I was trying on. You gave me a once-over, and then oh-so-sweetly suggested I try shopping at a plus-size store instead. So to you, I say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to be working retail on Black Friday (because let’s be honest…it sucks). I’m sorry you were probably up late doing a floor set the night before, and then had to be back early in the morning for what had to be a very long day. I’m sorry for all the stress you were clearly experiencing at the time you were speaking to me. And most of all, I’m sorry that I had the audacity to take my medium sized body into your store and accidentally grab the wrong size pants. I’m sorry that you, with a body size similar to that of a twig, probably have no concept of what it’s like to be curvy, and don’t get to enjoy the comfort that comes along with carrying the soft curves of womanhood.  Oh…and also, I’m sorry I don’t shop at your store anymore. And I’m sorry that I complained to your manager.

Love,
Ms. Plus Size

In an effort to write more frequently, I decided to take part in the Blogging Every Day in 

May challenge. I know I’m coming into it a few days behind, so I’ll be posting quite a few things in the next couple days as I get caught up. 

Day 12: I'm Definitely A Country Mouse...Kind Of

I am a person who loves. I love people, I love places, I love things. I don't really do half-hearted, so anything that I like, I love, and then when I can't have it anymore, I miss it.

And right now, having spent the last ten years of my life living in a city... I find myself missing the country.

I miss the smell of the ground after a spring rain. I miss the way it looks like heaven opened up a little bit, when the sun shines through the clouds. I miss lightning bugs, and mud between my toes, and the sound of the river on a quiet night. I miss the stars.

There is something truly magical about a perfect night in the country. The air is different there, filled with more promise and less tension. The sky looks different, bigger. Spider webs are beautiful instead of annoying, because on a dewy morning, the spider webs in the fields look like diamonds.

I don't want to live in the country again, or even in a really small town. But there is something so sweet, so amazing, about being able to go back to that kind of simple beauty. When life gets crazy, it's a refreshing change of pace. At my dad's house, on a clear night, you can see the Milky Way galaxy, like a white stripe across the sky. It's incredible. You don't get views like that in the city.

What do you miss?

In an effort to write more frequently, I decided to take part in the Blogging Every Day in May challenge. I know I’m coming into it a few days behind, so I’ll be posting quite a few things in the next couple days as I get caught up.

Day 11: Ten Little Words...

Yeah, I’m basically amazing…

Okay, well maybe not actually amazing, but pretty dang close. J

Today’s challenge is to sell myself in ten words or less, so it’s basically a free pass to brag about how awesome I am. 

Don’t mind if I do….

Loyal

Funny

Intelligent

Dedicated

Hard-working

Bubbly

Happy

Helpful

Strong

Intuitive

How would you sell yourself in only ten words?

In an effort to write more frequently, I decided to take part in the Blogging Every Day in May challenge. I know I’m coming into it a few days behind, so I’ll be posting quite a few things in the next couple days as I get caught up.

Day 10: Soooo.....That Happened

I have been blessed with grace and class extraordinaire, so I pretty much never have embarrassing moments of any kind. 

Also, I'm a liar. 

Not only am I ridiculously clumsy, but I also have a tendency to talk too much, to say the wrong thing, to make a joke that nobody thinks is funny (suuuuper awkward when that happens, by the way), to laugh so hard at a work happy hour that beer comes out my nose. Seriously, I'm a wreck. 

So coming up with my "most embarrassing moment" for this challenge is (wait for it...) challenging. However, when I think back on all my mortifying moments, there is one that sticks out the most, primarily because even 18 years later, I still blush every time I think about it. 

Let me set the scene.... 

I was ten years old. It was a beautiful evening in late April, that perfect kind of Midwestern spring that includes crickets and warmth and the promise of an even more amazing summer. I had spent the evening playing outside, getting the best kind of dirty, the kind you can only get from running around barefoot in grass and dirt, and climbing trees, and traipsing through the woods. 

At about ten minutes to 8, my mom told me to come inside, take a shower, and get ready for bed. Being the ridiculously obedient child that I was (sometimes almost never), I immediately went inside and commenced with the bedtime ritual. 

Earlier in the evening, a family friend from church had brought over a car we had just bought from him. He and my dad were chatting in the driveway until my mother remembered that she and my dad had to go vote on some county or township question, and that they had to be there before the polls closed at 8pm, which was, conveniently, only about five minutes away. Our friend, understanding the urgency, sweetly volunteered to babysit while my parents ran to the town hall up the hill. 

So, while I was taking a shower, completely unaware that my parents had left, I slipped and fell in the shower, cracking my head soundly on the side of the tub. I don't remember anything specific about how it happened or the few moments immediately thereafter - I just have a general memory of hearing screaming (my own, I assume), and seeing blood all over the walls and the floor. 

I gradually became aware of someone knocking on the door, and a man's voice asking me if I was okay, and if he could come in. I thought it was my dad, so I mumbled something about it being okay (again, all my memories here are a little bit fuzzy). 

Imagine my surprise, however, when the door opens, and in walks my parent's friend. Even in my concussed and profusely bleeding state, I managed to be intensely aware of the fact that I was naked and curled up on the floor and that the person I thought was my dad was most certainly NOT. 

I. Was. Mortified.  

Now, to his credit, my parent's friend was a perfect gentleman. He had daughters himself, the same age as my older brother and sister, and understood my embarrassment. He immediately wrapped me up in a towel and tended to my cut, and then sat with me until my parents came home to take me to the ER, where I was given six stitches above my eyebrow. 

Thankfully, over the years, I have been able to overcome my humiliation, and remain good friends with this man and his entire family, so all's well that ends well. :) 

What's your most embarrassing moment?

In an effort to write more frequently, I decided to take part in the Blogging Every Day in May challenge. I know I’m coming into it a few days behind, so I’ll be posting quite a few things in the next couple days as I get caught up.

Day 9: A Moment in My Day

In an effort to write more frequently, I decided to take part in the Blogging Every Day in May challenge. I know I’m coming into it a few days behind, so I’ll be posting quite a few things in the next couple days as I get caught up.

I recently moved away from Las Vegas, where my two beautiful little nephews live. I miss them so incredibly much! I spent a long time today scrolling through pictures of the little munchkins, and remembering what it feels like to snuggle with them. 

So, here are some photos of the little ones, these wonderful, tiny humans who manage to brighten my day all the time, even from 2,000 miles away.