When I was a kid, I always felt like I
had to have a “best friend”. In my little kid brain, that meant somebody who
listened to all my secrets (without judging or telling me that the boy I had a
crush on really wasn’t all that cute), who would trust me with their own
confidences, who would come over to my house and play, who would cover for me
if I tried to do something at their house that I knew wasn’t allowed at mine,
etc.
Now that I’m older, that definition has
changed somewhat. Yes, it’s still important for me that a friend will keep my
confidences and all of that, but there’s so much more to friendship now, it
seems.
I have always been someone who struggled
to make friends. Sure, I’ve had acquaintances here and there, but the number of
people I have met in my life who (whom?) I count as real friends is pretty
small.
Now I am living in a town that is far
away from any friends I have had, and I am neither working nor attending school
at the moment. I’d like to be doing both of those things, of course, but given
some other life circumstances at the moment, there’s not a lot of options for
them at the moment.
Since I don’t know anyone in this town,
and really don’t get out much, my question is, how do I make friends? How do I meet
other women and build friendships with them? Is it even possible?
This is part of the reason that I started
blogging. I wanted to find a way to start to get to know others, to build
relationships with people who are in the same walk of life, or who have
experienced some of the same struggles and difficulties I have. I know it’s not
quite the same as being able to just call someone up to go to a happy hour on a
random Tuesday, but it’s still something, I think.
My biggest problem, I think, is feeling
like I really don’t have anything all that interesting or important to say. I tend
to be pretty shy with new people, plus I’m not sure I want to get too personal
on a blog, so I end up feeling like the stuff I write doesn’t mean anything to anyone.
I blog things that are running around in my head, but I can’t write all of it,
because so much of what I think/worry about involves other people, and I’m not
about to be putting their business on my blog. I do keep a notebook with ideas
and inspiration topics in it, too, and then I always end up feeling like my
thoughts on that particular topic are completely lame, and I end up not even publishing
the post because it’s almost embarrassing! Maybe I’m just too hard on myself….??
Either way, my hope is that eventually, I
will have some new relationships with other bloggers, and will gain some new
friendships through this little blogging adventure. And maybe if I’m lucky, one
day I’ll be able to meet some of the people whose blogs I love, and who have
inspired me to keep going, even when I feel completely boring and irrelevant.
