Someday I Will ...

Someday I will // have a daily routine that includes getting up early every day for a workout. 

Someday I will // be on the ball enough to have meals planned and prepped at the beginning of each week. 

Someday I will // have at least $20,000.00 waiting for me in a savings account.

Someday I will // take the time to develop one of the many ideas I have for a novel, and actually write one. 

Someday I will // figure out what my "signature" dish is. 

Someday I will // figure out a way to write regularly again, be it on the blog or in the personal journal.

Someday I will // own an Erin Condren Life Planner. 

Someday I will // tour Europe. 

Someday I will // have a stamp in my passport from every continent. 

Someday I will // finish watching "Breaking Bad". 

Someday I will // go on a cruise to the Caribbean. 

Writer's block totally sucks.

Well hello, blog. Long time, no see. Sorry that I've been MIA.. it's just that I've been somewhat busy, and very uninspired (at least to write anything public), and well....sometimes life just happens and things fall to the wayside. I'm sorry about that. (That has seemed to happen quite a bit in my world over the last year, which may be cause for concern, but that's probably a post for another day.)

Anyway, so the other day, I wanted to write something, but just could not for the life of me think of anything to write. Like, zip. Nada. Nothing. 

So, naturally, I took to Twitter, hoping to get some suggestions. I only got one, which surprised me because I have almost 200 followers on Twitter, so I guess that means that either the people that follow me just ignore everything I say, or they are all suffering from a severe case of writer's block themselves, which would be unfortunate. 

Anyway, the point here is that I am going to take TK's advice, and write a bunch of random things that I'd probably like to someday write something about more in-depth, but don't have the words for quite yet. 

- I have a lot of questions about God and religion in general. This isn't to say that I don't believe, but just that there are a lot of things that still don't make sense to me. 

- "Curiosity often leads to trouble." - Alice in Wonderland

- "There isn't any such thing as good writing: really it's just a covert term for good thinking." - Alain de Botton

- There are a lot of really good articles on Thought Catalog and Buzzfeed. 

- Relationships are all about compromise. But how do you compromise without giving up too much? How and where do you draw the line? 

- Having your own business is terrifying. 

- Some people are really, spectacularly stupid. And awful. And should probably be sterilized. 

- Happiness is a journey, not a destination. And it's also a choice.



Also, I am going to be linking up with Taylor tomorrow for her "Someday I Will..." link up. You definitely should, too. Partially because she is awesome, and really hilarious, and also because it's going to be a fun exercise for all. 

What's in a name?

My Name Is….

Name: Jordan

Nicknames: Jory, Peaches, Kiddo, J

Popularity: According to this, Jordan was the 65th most popular name the year I was born, but the 384th most popular name for females, specifically

Origin: Ancient times, believed to have originated relative to the Jordan River in the Middle East. Also has Biblical significance, in that the Jordan River is where John the Baptist baptized Jesus

Meaning: Derived from Hebrew and Arabic words meaning to descend, or flow down

Sex: Was originally masculine, but has become incredibly popular for feminine names in recent years

What I love about my name: I have always really liked the idea of boy's names for girls, so I like that I have a name that is often considered to be a boy's name. It's a nice, strong sounding name. And I like the cadence of it with my last name, too. It just sounds nice. 

What I hate about my name: People often think I am a boy before they meet me. I get a lot of mail addressed to "Mr." It's not a very unique name or spelling anymore. When I was growing up, there were four people named Jordan on my swim team alone, and only one of them was a boy.  

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Now tell me all about a name, your name, your children’s names, anyone’s name you want too. The rules and the button are below!

The Rules: Follow your host and co-hosts, grab a button for your post, link up on one of our blogs, and then visit other bloggers to find out what their names are all about.

Your Hosts:

Miranda @Young, and In Progress (Host)

Jessica @Pleas(e) and Carrots (Co-Host)

Kelli @She Crab Soup (Co-Host

Two truths and a Lie

Have you ever played that game in youth group, or class or something where everybody has to say three things about themselves, but only two of them are true? I was also so good at that game, at least in college when everybody who was playing hadn't known me since birth. I always had a great time guessing everybody else's lies, too.. I was not nearly as good at it as I wanted to be, though. Rats.

So anyway, I stumbled across this little link up of Kiki's and was basically like, "um heck yeah I wanna play!"

So here are three things about me. You figure out which one isn't true. 

1.) I once held a job as a telemarketer. 

2.) I have eaten fertilized, partially matured duck eggs.

3.) I can dislocate my shoulders. 

Let me know your guess in the comments, and I'll post the answer in a blog next week! Bonus points if you put your own "Two truths and a lie" in the comment. 

Confessional Friday/Saturday.

So, um I know this is a day late, but I totally wanted to participate with Leslie because SHE IS GOING TO HAVE A BABY ON MONDAY, and this is going to be the last CF for a long while, and because it's fun, and well ...that's that. 

I confess // that when I am staying in a motel and the staff are rude to me, or act like I am doing them an inconvenience by asking them for something, it makes me want to go on every possible site I can, and give them a scathingly terrible review. 

I confess // that I get legitimately nervous (and also kinda pissed) when I am walking down a sidewalk and someone hits on me. Especially when they say something to the effect of "Hey, Baby," or, like someone did today, "Hey, Ma". The "baby" one is just creepy, and the "ma" one just makes me angry. Like, HELLO, I AM NOT YOUR MOTHER, SO DO NOT CALL ME MA. What is with that, anyway?!

I confess // that after watching "New Girl", I not only legitimately wish I could be Jessica Day, but ummm...I also have a legitimate girl crush on Zooey Deschanel. That girl is bomb. 

I confess // the painting classes I have taken have officially given me a ridiculously overly-inflated sense of my own artistic talent. In real life, I'm not at all talented. Like, AT ALL. 

I confess // that even though I really, really hate snow, there are few things I can think of more cozy and comforting than snuggling up on the couch with a steaming mug of hot chocolate and watching it fall. 

That's What She Wrote

I am not, and have never been (even though I tried), a great writer of fiction. However, when I saw this link-up, I knew I wanted to participate. So here is my first attempt in probably twenty years to write fiction. Be gentle.

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I never saw it coming. Looking back now, I know that I should have. There were signs, there were tells. There was everything short of a damn blinking neon sign telling me what was about to happen. And still, I missed it. How could I have been so stupid?

Part 1:
It started out normally enough. We met at a bar, actually, which is so out of character for me. I was out with a girlfriend, having a girl's only night to destress from what had been an awful week at work. We weren't even in the mood for guys, so we picked a place where we thought we would be completely ignored. But then somewhere between the nachos and my third beer, and I looked up, and there he was, looking right at me from across the bar. I felt a spark go through me, like I had been shocked.

I watched him walk over to me. I saw myself shake his hand, and I heard my own voice tell him my name. Everything else faded to a dull roar, and right then, I would have sworn we were the only two people in the world. It was incredible. The way he was looking at me made me feel so beautiful, and made me forget about everything else.

We went on our first date two days later. I had heard all the tips about making a guy wait for at least three days before you go out with him, but it didn't even concern me. The connection we had was so incredible, I was sure that I had found "The One", and that everything was going to just work out perfectly.

He took me to a brand new restaurant called "любить" which means "love" in Russian. It was incredible. The food was delicious, the vodka smooth, and the conversation non-stop.

When the bill came, I excused myself to the restroom. Maybe it's childish, but I always hate the whole "do you want me to pay for my half" dance that happens on first dates, so I tend to avoid it at all costs. I am of the opinion that the man should always pay, anyway.

I came back from the restroom, fully expecting the bill to be paid, and for him to be ready to go. Instead, he wasn't even there. Instead, on a napkin, was a note: "M - so sorry, huge family emergency, so had to run! Here's some $ for a cab. I'll call you!" A $20 bill was tucked inside.

I picked up the note, and the $20, and turned to go. I saw the little booklet they give you with the bill, and decided to take a peek at how much the dinner had cost. Well, it was over $200, but it hadn't been paid. I figured he must have forgotten in his rush to go deal with his family emergency, so I paid the bill on my already-pushing-the-limit credit card, and walked outside to hail a cab. On the way home, I sent him a text letting him know what a great time I had had, and that I hoped everything was going to be okay with his family, and I looked forward to speaking to him again.

I didn't hear back from him until two days later.


....to be continued.

They didn't have cameras when I turned 21

Um, okay so that was a lie. They totally had cameras. I even had a camera. BUT, since it was like, FOREVER ago (yes, I'm old), I didn't have Facebook (thank God), so I don't actually know where any pictures from the festivities actually are. 

I turned 21 the summer between my sophomore and junior years of college, because I've always been older than my class. And because my stupid birthday is in the stupid summer (oh, and was also on a stupid Sunday), almost none of my friends were there (except one who was from Chicago, and with whom I am not friends any longer). So my "entourage", if you will, consisted mainly of friends of my sister's that she managed to convince to come along for a while. And my brother, and a couple of his Marine Corps friends. And my one friend, who was underage and couldn't actually do much with us. 

The night started at Buffalo Wild Wings. We went out actually the night before my birthday, so there was a slight risk I wouldn't be able to actually drink anything until after midnight. However, I have a very charming (and apparently good-looking) brother, who managed to sweet-talk our BDubs waitress into serving me alcohol, even though I was underage, but she told me I couldn't tell anyone, so whenever somebody else glanced at our table, I was all like this guy, except that I was actually wearing a shirt like a normal person, and hopefully didn't look like such a first-class douche. 

 

I ordered a cosmopolitan, because it's what all the Sex and the City ladies were drinking, and who doesn't want to model their lives after those women it was the only name of a drink I could remember. It. Was. AWFUL. I've never had one since, because they're just disgusting. Gross, gross, gross. 

Anyway, so we stayed at BDubs until about 11:40, at which point we headed downtown. My brother had found a bar he thought would be kind of cool to go to, so we all ended up there. Interestingly enough, it turned out to be like drag queen night, or gay night or something at the place, so the only people there were gay dudes dressed as women. I was much more naive and innocent then than I am now and really had no idea what a drag queen was (or homosexuality, for that matter), so I was basically just really confused and slightly scandalized, and kind of couldn't stop staring. Whoops. 

I don't remember much else from the bar, other than that my friend Tim (on whom I had a GINORMOUS crush at the time, although now he is like my brother and the thought of liking him "like that" actually kind of makes me cringe) made a special trip up from the southern burbs to attend for like, five minutes, and bought me an amaretto sour, which was DELICIOUS. And then he kissed me on my cheek when he left, and I like, totally swooned. Or I was just really, really drunk at that point, one of the two. Probably mostly the second one, because that's mostly where my night cuts off. 

I have heard stories from my sister that in the car on the way back to her place, I almost lost my cookies all over the purse that my friend had bought me, but that the girl who was sitting next to me in the car managed to get the purse out of the bag before I uh....refilled it. 

And then she pulled over so I could lose it some more and I have a very vague memory of being really really mad that she wouldn't let me just go to sleep on the side of Interstate 94 in Chicago. And then when we finally got back to her place, we had somehow gotten locked out, so while we were waiting for someone to wake up and let us in, I was sitting on the front step but like, falling over, and somebody somewhere has a picture of me being held upright by my chin so I wouldn't fall over and break my face on the concrete. 

And then I woke up the next morning afternoon on the floor of the bathroom and experienced my first hangover, lasting approximately three days. But I didn't throw up again, and I ended up losing like 3 pounds because I couldn't eat for most of the time I was hungover, so we can at least count that part as a win, right? 

And once I recovered from that, I wondered to myself why anyone would ever get that drunk twice, because the losing time, and the stumbling around, and the hangover afterwards was just plain terrible. And I haven't done it since, except the one time on NYE when I got super wasted completely accidentally, but that's a story for another time. 

And to make up for the fact that I don't have any pictures of the abject disaster I was when I turned 21, here is a picture of the cake I made for ZJ's 1st birthday party last year. This is a lot prettier than I was, so you're welcome for that. 

Today.

I almost got t-boned on my way to work this morning. People who don't pay attention to red lights and/or think that red lights don't actually apply to them make me crazy. Also on the list of people who make me crazy - drivers who will tailgate someone through a 4-way stop. THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS, GENIUS. Take the 15 seconds to wait your turn like everybody else, and then that way you won't cause accidents that are your fault because you're an idiot. 

I'm totally having a lazy dressing day, and I'm wearing black yoga pants with a gray t-shirt to work today. BUT, the office is business casual, and I am wearing dress flats with the outfit, so I'm still okay, right? 

I didn't sleep much last night, and was sniffling and feeling generally awful for the duration, so when I got up this morning, I pretty much looked like death had hit me in the face. I did the best I could with some mascara, a little foundation, and lots of concealer under the eyes, but apparently, to no avail. One of my oh-so-sweet coworkers found it necessary to tell me, "you look really terrible, like you don't feel well or something." To which I wanted to reply, "Wow, no shit, Sherlock. Thanks for informing I look like crap, because I never look in mirrors, and didn't already know that, and don't already feel about a billion times worse than I  look." But I refrained, and just said that I wasn't actually feeling well, and then thanked her for her concern...that she didn't show. Not sure if that makes me sweet or passive aggressive. Whatever. 

Apparently, this is me today (except replace the word "school" with "work"): 

I have also had like four cups of coffee this morning, just to keep my eyes open. Not ideal, since coffee tends to make me shaky and high-strung anyway, and when I haven't had food with it too, then this happens. So that's neat. 

I don't really have any work projects to do right now, so I'm spending my time adding all kinds of books to my to-read shelf on Goodreads based on absolutely nothing more than cover art. Maybe one of these days I'll have the time to read constantly. Like when I take a year-long vacation from life and live on a tropical island and wear nothing but a bikini and sunglasses and maybe like a maxi skirt sometimes, and drink delicious things out of coconuts and put flowers in my hair. 

You can all come visit me on whatever island I decide to grace with my presence, by the way. Bring me a steak and blue cheese salad from Panera when you do. 

Peace out. 

Weekend Update

{source}

So, it's Monday again. Which is kind of awesome (new week, new beginnings and all that), and kind of awful, all at the same time. I don't think the awful part needs any kind of explanation, does it? Cuz hating Mondays is basically like, a universal thing? Okay, moving on. 

So I had a pretty great weekend, and in the spirit of remembering awesome things and forgetting about the crappiness that is Monday, I'm linking up with Miss Shenanigans to tell you all about it. 

On Friday, I was so ready to be done with work and my week. I do not particularly enjoy my job right now, though I am incredibly grateful for it, so Fridays are like, the best thing ever. Anyway, so I got home, and Boyfriend and I decided to go out for a walk, and then go to the YMCA for a swim and hot tub excursion. It was basically amazing, even though I kind of find hot tubs a little bit gross, especially when people get in them all sweaty and gross. But whatever, the hot water felt nice, and I was able to shower afterwards, so I went with it. We got dinner at Applebee's, and then rented a movie that night. I even stayed awake through almost the whole thing! Progress, people. 

On Saturday morning, we got up and spent about an hour and a half deep cleaning the apartment. Not my favorite way to spend the day, but it was desperately needed, and it looked so nice afterwards! I spent most of the rest of the day doing some work for a client, and then we watched "Tombstone" in the afternoon, which Boyfriend has been wanting me to watch for a long time because he says it's "the best movie ever". I don't know if I'd go all the way to "ever", but it was pretty good. 

Then on Saturday night, we went to a painting class at the local wine and paint place. I had been looking forward to going and painting this The piece looked really difficult, so I was kind of nervous, but I'm really happy with the way my painting turned out! If you follow me on Instagram, you've already seen it, but just in case you haven't, here's my finished product: 

Clearly, my photography skills need some work. 

We played a game of cribbage after we got home. I totally won, by the way. I'm getting good at this game! :)

On Sunday, aka Fat Sunday in our house, we started the day with a delicious brunch at The Green Mill. Side note: I love brunch. I think there is something just fantastic about the idea of being able to get breakfast and lunch type foods at the same time, and not having to pick one meal over another. I like them both! Anyway, then we both parked our butts in the living room, where I commenced doing a bunch more work, and Boyfriend commenced watching football, as is his Sunday tradition. I ended up taking a nap later in the day, which was glorious. People don't nap enough these days, I think. That was followed by Chipotle for dinner, then some more football and random TV until we fell asleep. 

How was your weekend?  

The Sunday Currently

c u r r e n t l y:

reading: 

“Bloodwork: A Tale of Medicine and Murder in the Scientific Revolution” by Holly Tucker

writing: 
Training documentation for a client’s CRM system

listening: 

Football announcers in the Detroit/Green Bay game

thinking:

Relationships are a LOT of work. Fat Sunday is an awesome tradition. I hate cold weather. Also, I want Starbucks.

smelling:

The Glade carpet cleaner powder we put on the carpet yesterday. I think it’s a fresh linen scent.

wishing:

That I could see into the future, and know how things work out in a number of situations currently unfolding in my life.

hoping:

Things start to fall into place soon, and start to make more sense and get easier. I'm pretty strong, and I can handle a lot, but I am starting to wear under the stress of my life right now.

wearing:
Jeans and a white shirt with black boots. And my Columbia fleece because it’s effing freezing in this apartment right now.

loving:

My current nail color!    

wanting:

Starbucks, and to go on a nice long, easy vacation somewhere warm and tropical

needing:

The rest of my stuff, so I can start to feel like I’m actually settled and at home.

feeling:

stressed.

clicking:

All over the CRM help site so I can try and figure out how this system works before I lead the training next week. Yikes.

I confess...I haven't done this in a while.

Heyyyy, everybody. It's finally Friday, whaaaaatt? And since I'm feeling particularly unmotivated and uninspired, and because I haven't done it for a while, I'm going to link up with Leslie for Confessional Friday!!

Random picture that has nothing to do with anything, except that I really want to be sitting in one of those chairs drinking a margarita right now. {source}

Ready? Here we do go.

I confess // that I kind of hate it when I get into television shows while they're still on air, because I can like, fly through the first couple of seasons via Netflix or Hulu, but then when I'm done with that, I have to wait for the rest of the episodes, and that sucks. (I'm looking at you, New Girl and Scandal.).

I confess // that sometimes I really question myself - my own thoughts, my decisions, what I have to offer, etc. And sometimes, I confess that in my own eyes, I come up lacking.

I confess // that I hate being scared, and will fall for every single scary sound/image/face, every single time, but for some reason, I still kind of want to go to the haunted amusement park by the Cities this year. Even though I know I will hate it, and will probably lose my voice from screaming, like I did the one and only time I've ever been to any kind of haunted anything.

I confess // that people who accuse me of doing X action, but refuse to open up their eyes to see that they're doing it themselves as well make me completely crazy. I know that it's human nature and all that, but it still makes me ridiculously angry.

I confess //  that I am a big fat loser when it comes to survivor football, and I got knocked out in Week 3. Yes, people, Week 3. *hangs head in shame* I picked the Vikings, along with my dad and sister, because I was thinking that a.) they're going to win, and b.) it's still early enough that I can be all like, "go team go" with my family, and how fun will that be when we are all rooting for the same team and celebrating their win? And then they had to go and lose, like jerk faces, so I'm annoyed. (I talked about sports, so it's cool to link up with Sarah for Fan Friday, right??)

I confess // that I cannot find a font I actually like to save my life. Not a real big deal in the grand scheme of things, but annoying, nonetheless.

I confess // that there are a lot of things I want to say, but don't know how.

And, in the spirit of not always knowing what is going on in my head, or what I want to be when I grow up, or whatever, I'm also going to link up with Whitney, and go ahead and #backthatazzup to some old school coming of age music.

  

Writing fiction

Well hello, lovlies. How's Wednesday treating everybody? Good? Great. Faaantastic.

So far, my day today has been a lot better than yesterday.

Today I got Starbucks.

Today I have a to-do list prepped and ready to go, and I've already crossed some things off it.

And today, I saw this.

And first of all, let me just say that I have only recently discovered the gem that is Jen's blog. It's no secret that I love reading, and I'm always looking for recommendations of new books to discover. Honestly, I think that my absolute ideal job would be getting paid for reading and writing about books. Anyway, I digress.

When I was little, I used to write little fiction stories every once in a while. And at any given time, I usually have about four or five plot lines and character possibilities swirling around in my head. But I haven't actually written a fiction story for years... And I can pretty much promise that I won't have anything ready in time for publishing with the link up that Jen is doing so even though I'd love to, I won't be participating.. but I will admit that the idea of writing fiction, even of taking things from my own life, and rewriting the endings, saying what I wanted to say instead of what I did say, etc., the ideas that Jen mentioned, really did make something inside of me perk up and take notice. 

So even though I won't be posting a fiction story in the link up, and even though I can't guarantee I will ever post any kind of story, this is my public confession that I would LOVE to write fiction. Whether it's a story of my own that I change, or one of some character I invent completely, it doesn't matter. I just want to do it. 

Aaaaaand we are linking up with Liz today for her blog hop! Because it's hump day. And because it's fun. 

P.S. Liz could use some encouragement right now, so please go check out her blog, and make sure to say hi! :)