When I was a kid, I always felt like I had to have a “best friend”. In my little kid brain, that meant somebody who listened to all my secrets (without judging or telling me that the boy I had a crush on really wasn’t all that cute), who would trust me with their own confidences, who would come over to my house and play, who would cover for me if I tried to do something at their house that I knew wasn’t allowed at mine, etc.
Now that I’m older, that definition has changed somewhat. Yes, it’s still important for me that a friend will keep my confidences and all of that, but there’s so much more to friendship now, it seems.
I have always been someone who struggled to make friends. Sure, I’ve had acquaintances here and there, but the number of people I have met in my life who (whom?) I count as real friends is pretty small.
Now I am living in a town that is far away from any friends I have had, and I am neither working nor attending school at the moment. I’d like to be doing both of those things, of course, but given some other life circumstances at the moment, there’s not a lot of options for them at the moment.
Since I don’t know anyone in this town, and really don’t get out much, my question is, how do I make friends? How do I meet other women and build friendships with them? Is it even possible?
This is part of the reason that I started blogging. I wanted to find a way to start to get to know others, to build relationships with people who are in the same walk of life, or who have experienced some of the same struggles and difficulties I have. I know it’s not quite the same as being able to just call someone up to go to a happy hour on a random Tuesday, but it’s still something, I think.
My biggest problem, I think, is feeling like I really don’t have anything all that interesting or important to say. I tend to be pretty shy with new people, plus I’m not sure I want to get too personal on a blog, so I end up feeling like the stuff I write doesn’t mean anything to anyone. I blog things that are running around in my head, but I can’t write all of it, because so much of what I think/worry about involves other people, and I’m not about to be putting their business on my blog. I do keep a notebook with ideas and inspiration topics in it, too, and then I always end up feeling like my thoughts on that particular topic are completely lame, and I end up not even publishing the post because it’s almost embarrassing! Maybe I’m just too hard on myself….??
Either way, my hope is that eventually, I will have some new relationships with other bloggers, and will gain some new friendships through this little blogging adventure. And maybe if I’m lucky, one day I’ll be able to meet some of the people whose blogs I love, and who have inspired me to keep going, even when I feel completely boring and irrelevant.