Thoughts on Monday...

I’ve run across a few tweets and blog posts this week that have a lot to do with being true to yourself, making what you know to be the best decision for you regardless of what others may say, etc.

These posts really resonated with me, primarily because I, much to my chagrin and everlasting frustration, have always been someone who vacillates on decisions, who is never completely sure of herself. I have always asked for the opinions and advice of friends and family, and unsurprisingly, have often gotten conflicting ideas. Then there are the times when my gut is telling me to go one direction, but everyone else’s advice is to do something different.

My struggle, then, becomes finding my voice in the midst of the chaos. What do I want? What do I need? Am I doing enough for myself to make sure that my own needs are met, and am I making sure that I am living the life I want to live for myself, or am I only making decisions in order to make those around me happy and/or not disappoint people I love?

I think that too often in my life, my reasoning behind making certain decisions has been that I would rather not disappoint people, or because I don’t want people to disapprove of what I do.

That’s terrible reasoning. Terrible.

But where is the line between too much and not enough? How much is too much? Is it better for me, in my nearly constant state of borderline uncertainty, to just avoid getting advice from other people altogether, and trusting only what I want to be the right thing?

One thing that I do have going for me is my penchant for always thinking things through. Very rarely do I make an uninformed or rash decision. They don’t always work out quite the way I may hope, but that is certainly not for lack of prior consideration on my part.

I know that I need to get better at hearing my own voice. I know I need to get better at standing up for what I want and need, instead of constantly rearranging my thoughts/brain/life around what other people thing. And I know I need to get better at sticking to my own decisions without hesitation or apology, and owning them, rather than letting the opinions of others make me feel like I’m constantly doing something wrong.

The bottom line here, I suppose, is that I need to get to the point where I love my own decisions so much, that it doesn’t even matter what anyone else thinks about them. I just wish I knew how to get there. 

I'd ask for some advice, but that seems sort of counter-intuitive here..... ;)

....although, I would absolutely read every piece of advice anyone felt compelled to give, just for the record.