Five Reasons I Hate Working Out

Seriously. No one is ever this happy.

1.       It’s really hard. Let’s be honest – good workouts are hard anyway, even when you’re in great shape already. And they should be! Working out is really all about challenging yourself, pushing yourself past your limits, through the pain, and all that. So, awesome. But when you’re out of shape, like I am, and something as simple as walking up a couple flights of steps can make you take an extra breath or two, actually going through an organized workout where you’re intentionally doing things to yourself that make your heart race and your lungs scream for oxygen does not sound fun at all.

2.      It creates extra laundry. To be fair, this seems like less of a big deal when I’m in a place that has its own laundry room, but the apartment I live in right now only has one laundry room for the whole building, and washing and drying a tiny little load costs $2 in quarters. LAME. So now if I want to work out, I either have to do extra laundry, or wear stinky clothes. Both options sound awful, so I just skip the whole thing.

3.      It’s expensive. Even if you decide not to get a gym membership for whatever reason, you still have to have some sort of equipment that you may not otherwise purchase. This could be something as simple as sneakers (which, really, even these aren’t simple anymore, because there are about a million different options, and they all cost a lot of money), or it could get as crazy as getting shoes, shorts, shirts, bands, ropes, etc. that are all specific to exercise. Ain’t nobody got the time, or the money, for that nonsense. I will say though, that if I could get a new piece of Lulu clothing for each week I work out or something, I'd be all over that like white on rice. 

4.      I have a tendency to injure myself like, all the time. I honestly don’t know if this is a.) because I’m out of shape, or b.) because I just have a body that doesn’t do well with a lot of physical activity. Or if b is only a factor because of a. But either way, it’s rare for me to go through a workout without pulling, straining/spraining, or blistering something. I am almost always swelling up somewhere due to injury, be it on my foot, my knee, shoulder, whatever. If you follow me on Instagram, you’ve already seen this picture. Sadly, this sort of thing happens on the regular. 

5.      I always start to look like a tomato by about three minutes in. Seriously, I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but anytime I exert any kind of effort into anything, I turn bright red. So red, in fact, that I’m almost purple. When I lived in Nevada and would go jogging in my neighborhood, people stopped on more than one occasion to offer me water, since apparently, I looked like I was dying. The worst part about all that is that on most of the occasions, by the time people noticed and were stopping, I was already cooled down, so my heart and breath rates were normal. Apparently, though, I still managed to look like a stop sign. Awesome.

Lesson learned? I just should just stop working out entirely, and not bother to try it again. .....right???