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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Day 13: Sorry Not Sorry!

Dear Pretty Much Every Other Driver on the Road (But Mostly Drivers in Las Vegas),

I’m sorry that you received what was clearly a sub-par education in driving, since you clearly don’t understand how to use a blinker, maintain a lane while turning, or put down your stupid phone long enough to actually watch the road while you’re driving. I’m sorry that you think red or yellow lights don’t apply to you. And I’m also sorry that when I do things properly, i.e. maintain the correct lane when I’m turning, stop at an intersection when I know the light will turn red before I can get through it, come to a complete stop at stop signs, etc., it frustrates you because you have to adjust on the fly to make sure you don’t run into me with your stupid turning-into-the-wrong-lane-and-not-even-the-lane-you-wanted-to-be-in-in-the-first-place nonsense. Pay some more attention, maybe attend another driver education course, and try to do better, for crying out loud. Because really, you’re just obnoxious…and you’re annoying me, which in my opinion, is the bigger crime.

The World’s Most Perfect Driver

Dear Victoria’s Secret Fitting Room Attendant from Town Square,

You probably don’t remember me…I was the girl in the store on Black Friday, trying on yoga pants. You asked me if there was anything I needed, and I very politely asked if you could grab me a larger size of the pants I was trying on. You gave me a once-over, and then oh-so-sweetly suggested I try shopping at a plus-size store instead. So to you, I say I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you had to be working retail on Black Friday (because let’s be honest…it sucks). I’m sorry you were probably up late doing a floor set the night before, and then had to be back early in the morning for what had to be a very long day. I’m sorry for all the stress you were clearly experiencing at the time you were speaking to me. And most of all, I’m sorry that I had the audacity to take my medium sized body into your store and accidentally grab the wrong size pants. I’m sorry that you, with a body size similar to that of a twig, probably have no concept of what it’s like to be curvy, and don’t get to enjoy the comfort that comes along with carrying the soft curves of womanhood.  Oh…and also, I’m sorry I don’t shop at your store anymore. And I’m sorry that I complained to your manager.

Ms. Plus Size

In an effort to write more frequently, I decided to take part in the Blogging Every Day in 
May challenge. I know I’m coming into it a few days behind, so I’ll be posting quite a few things in the next couple days as I get caught up. 

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