Day 16: A Difficulty I'm Facing

Note: I'm temporarily skipping Day 15 in the Blog Every Day in May challenge, since I don't have any pictures available of what a typical "Day in the Life" looks like. I'll probably get back to it later. 

All things considered, I’ve led a pretty pampered life. No, I didn’t have fancy new clothes (or even many brand new clothes) when I was growing up, I’ve never being given trips abroad or large sums of money, I’ve never had everything I wanted at any given time.

But I mean, apart from all that stuff…

I’ve always known I was loved.

I’ve always known I have it within me to do pretty much anything I want, so long as I put my mind to it.

I’ve always known that if/when I needed something, my family is right there to support me however they can.

So really, what’s difficult about that? Well, nothing, really. The “difficulty” in this post is not something for which anyone else is responsible. It’s a difficulty of my own doing, through my own laziness and lack of internal motivation.

I do not have a college degree. 

Wait, no, that’s a lie… I have an Associate’s degree. Which in some circles, is great. In no way do I mean to say that people who have an Associate’s aren’t as good as people who have a Bachelor’s degree, or that they didn’t work just as hard (maybe even harder) for their two-year degree than a lot of people do who have completed a four-year degree in a traditional setting.

But for me, only having an Associate’s is not enough. So now I am in a position where I do not have the degree I want (and need) for the career I’d like. I’m almost thirty, and I’m faced with having to complete at least another two years of school just to finish a Bachelor’s, not to mention the additional two to four years it could take to complete a Master’s.

This concept is difficult for me. The reality of trying to figure out how I’m going to overcome this obstacle is difficult. Sometimes I wish that I had completed my Bachelor’s degree at my original college in Chicago, because even though it wasn’t the degree I wanted, at least it would be done, and I wouldn’t be in the position I’m in now.

But oh well… I’m here, and this is what I’ve got, and I have to deal with it. So in my attempts to deal with it, I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what makes me tick, as it were…what kinds of occupations would be the most fulfilling and mentally stimulating for me. I have learned a lot about myself in this endeavor, which has been great. Forced self-reflection has a tendency to be an effective teacher.

And apart from that, I’m researching schools. I’m putting together degree plans in my head. I’m talking to schools about what classes that I’ve already taken will transfer, about the possibility of testing out of classes so I can avoid wasting time and money on things I already know.

Since my life is a little crazy at the moment, I’m not in a position where I can really bite the bullet and start a program right now. I need to wait until I figure out where I’m going to be, and for how long, etc. before I can really put too much more effort into anything.

But once I figure out that stuff, and the time comes for me to make a decision and get started……I will be ready. 

I will be all set to jump in with both feet and make my dream a reality.

And it will be incredible.