In an effort to write more frequently, I decided to take part in the Blogging Every Day in May challenge. I know I’m coming into it a few days behind, so I’ll be posting quite a few things in the next couple days as I get caught up.
I Get Uncomfortable When.....
…I am in large groups of people. I can do very well in small groups (like four or five people), even if I don’t know all of them. But my discomfort grows in direct proportion to the number of people present in a group, even if I know them all. I much prefer small, intimate gatherings over large parties with a bunch of people.
…I have to teach someone something. Even if I know my subject matter like the back of my hand, I still get nervous that I’m going to miss something really important, or explain something incorrectly. I don’t like being responsible for making sure that other people know what they’re doing, mostly because I feel like I don’t even know what I’m doing most of the time.
…I have to confront someone about something. I really dislike having to tell someone they’re doing something wrong, or that they’ve hurt my feelings, or deliver any other kind of message that could be interpreted as negative. I freeze up, and even if I have written down and/or practiced what I want to say, I instantly freeze up and forget everything, and then end up sound like a tongue-tied idiot with absolutely no grasp of the English language. I also don’t like hurting anyone’s feelings, and I often worry that my frustration over a certain situation will somehow translate into the other party feeling bad about themselves.
…I work out in front of people. I know it shouldn’t be a big deal, but any time I’m working out at a gym or where people can see me, I feel like people are judging my form (which is probably awful), looking at my gym clothes (which are usually just ratty old t-shirts), or giggling to themselves about the way my less-than-toned arms jiggle when I move. Rationally, I understand that probably none of these things are happening, so I am usually able to *mostly* ignore my insecurities and get on with my workout, but the thoughts do always cross my mind, nonetheless.
…I go shopping. Most girls love to shop – for clothes, for shoes, for jewelry, whatever. I, however, pretty much dislike the whole thing. I have what I consider to be a weirdly shaped body (which is really just short and curvy), and I find it difficult to find clothes that fit comfortably and properly, and are any kind of reasonably affordable at the same time. Shoes are also difficult, because even though I loooooove them, I have a hard time finding pairs that fit my miniature feet.
What things make you uncomfortable?